Raising Arizona...

Five years ago, the Vikings needed only to beat the lowly Arizona Cardnials to claim a playoff birth. With no time left on the clock, Luke McNown threw up a prayer to Nathan Poole and Paul Allen screamed through the radio on his infamous "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" call.

Well today the Vikes return to Arizona hoping to return the favor, although this time names like McNown and Poole have been replaced by names like Warner, Fitzgerald, and Boldin. At the same time...a name lacking in the previous matchup, Peterson, will have his say today...

Every Rose Has Its Thorn...

The 2008 NBA Draft, also known as "Oh Shit!" to Timberwolves fans, begins at 6:30cst tonight on ESPN. This draft has taken on a weird flavor, because the best player, Michael Beasley, is suddenly being seriously questioned. He was the best player in college basketball last year. He was the consensus #1 pick all spring. He put up better college stats than Kevin Durant, yet suddenly he's being discussed as a complete headcase that is a poor-man's Derrick Coleman. I love the overthinking that is going on here. I tell you what...if NBA GM's are stupid enough to allow Beasley to slip to the Timberwolves, Kevin McHale better pull that trigger. Beasley is an instant 20-10 guy that will dramatically upgrade the athleticism of the Timberwolves. No, Beasley doesn't have that A+ character at this point, but the kid is only 19 years old.

This is a giant draft for the Timberwolves. They haven't selected this high in the draft since 1992, when they narrowly missed out on Alonzo Mourning and Shaquille O'Neal, instead ending up with Christian Laettner. The fan base is fading, the corporate dollars are fading, the ticket sales are fading...a major boost is needed. Let's quickly rank the players in order of who would bring the biggest hype to the team:

1. Michael Beasley
2. Derrick Rose
3. OJ Mayo
4. Kevin Love
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167. Brook Lopez

Rose is going #1, so we won't discuss him here. Because the Wolves pick third, they are guaranteed to have their choice of two of Love, Mayo, and Beasley, assuming they stay at #3. Any of those guys would make me a happy man, and most importantly, would keep the beating heart of the Wolves alive. As much as I would love Beasley, I seriously doubt that he is slipping past #2. I think Seattle, or the Clippers will slide up and take him at #2. Teams will come to their senses and realize Beasley can instantly help them. Brook Lopez, as nice of a kid as he is, and as good of a player as he may be one day, is NOT going to pump up the fan base. Trading down to #8 and selecting Jerryd Bayless or Russell Westbrook is NOT going to pump up this fanbase.

Let's quickly run down what I think is going to happen tonight:

1. Derrick Rose- Chicago Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Seattle Supersonics
3. Ovinton J'Anthony Mayo- Minnesota Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- Miami Heat
5. Brooke Lopez- Memphis Grizzlies
6. Russell Westbrook- NY Knicks
7. Eric Gordon- LA Clippers
8. Joe Alexander- Milwaukee Bucks
9. Kevin Love- Minnesota Timberwolves (Who trade picks #31, #34, Rashad McCants, and Antoine Walker to acquire the 9th selection)

Hey...it never hurts to dream right?

An additional note: I have men's league golf tonight that wont be finished until 7:30 or so. I am tivo'ing the draft. My phone will be off, my sirius radio will be turned to Alt Nation Channel 21, and I am warning members of my golf league to not give me any info about the draft. That being said, these things never work, so I'm sure I'll catch wind of the bonehead move McHale makes tonight. C'mon Kevin...surprise me this one time! Please. Anyways, if you want to get a hold of me my phone will be off until after I catch up to the live broadcast on tivo.

Go Wolves.

Much Ado About Everything...

What a week we have going here in the world of sports: The old-school Lakers-Celtics NBA Finals, and the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines. Both of these events are a major distraction from my normal month of June, where I play bad golf and lose brain cells watching the Twins.

- I'm not feeling Tiger this week. I know that he's the best player in the world. I know that he tears up Torrey Pines. Taking all that time off and recovering from knee surgery will rear it's ugly head at some point this week...in fact he was already limping slightly this morning.

- The movement of putting all major sporting events on the internet is simply awesome. Now we are not only able to watch every NCAA Men's basketball tournament game, we can also follow golfers during all four of golf's majors. You know those people that like to talk about the good old days? Well they can go read their boxscore in the next day's newspaper. I'm going to kick my feet up at my desk and watch Tiger and Phil all morning long on the computer. The link for the US Open video is here.


Rivalries never die:


- Seeing the Lakers and Celtics on HD, I honestly can't think of two better looking NBA jerseys. For all of you owners out there: go with simple and classic. If the marketing person that drives the prius and wears the funky glasses starts talking to you about "rebranding" tell him or her to lay off the latte and stick to your guns. Simple is good...I think it's worked pretty well for the New York Yankees marketing department...wouldn't you say?

- I am pulling for KG. That being said, I am glad that the rest of the sports world can now see the frustrating thing about Kevin: He isn't a top gun. He's the best second-banana of all time, but he is NEVER going to carry a team to a title on his own. Shooting fadeaway 18 footers when you are the most athletic seven-footer in the NBA today isn't going to get it done. He should be demolishing Pau Gasol...

- When Boston made all of the moves to acquire KG and Ray Allen, I gave them a two year window to get it done. After watching them this spring, I think their young guys have some big upside, and that they could be even better next year. A major factor in their continued success is that someone needs to convince KG that he doesn't have to play like a raving lunatic for 82 regular season games. It's ok to take the foot off the gas a touch when you are beating Atlanta by 34 in October. Rondo, Powe, and Perkins give Boston a nice nucleus of young guys to keep the Boston Three Party competitive for the forseeable future...

N..N..NOONAN!

The fellas and I are heading up to Breezy Point tomorrow morning for a weekend of golf, relaxation and hundreds of drinks. I stumbled across their all-inclusive package, that is sure to be taken fully advantage of with my crew. Unlimited golf, food, drinks, and lodging for 2 nights for under $400. How can you beat that? That Steak and Lobster is going to taste pretty damn good after a few toddy's on the course. I am not sure if anybody has ever housed a liter of vodka in 18 holes since the Nixon admistration, but Nick Boland surely will give it the All-American try. My goal for the weekend is to just have the ability to come back next year. That's it.

Don't Call It A Comeback...

The Twins yet again took down the Royals in extra-innings last night, extending Kansas City's losing streak to 10 games. Craig Monroe capped off a five run 9th inning for Minnesota with a three-run donger that tied the game up at 8 runs. The dagger in the heart of the white and blue was a 10th inning bomb from Morneau, which put the twins up 4-3 and set the stage for Nathan to seek redemption for his blown save on Tuesday evening. Delmon Young once again tried to derail things almost as if he was in Tim Donaghy's pockets...

Shh...SHH...Shut your mouth...

I don't want to hear any complaints about how this isn't sports-related. If you watch you clearly see Will Ferrel practicing Karate on a pumpkin...

The Round Mound of Apologies...

After national headlines were made last week regarding a $400K gambling debt that Sir Charles owed to the Wynn Hotel and Casino, Barkley publicly apologized to his family and friends last night on TNT's pregame coverage of the Spurs/Hornets game 7:

Well...some more interesting news came out today that tells a different story than what Barkley had to say last night. According to ESPN.com, a Las Vegas prosecutor as well as the Wynn both claim that Barkley has yet to pay a cent of the $400K owed from an October 2007 gambling marker. I have a feeling you won't be seeing our buddy John Daly in the high-stakes room at the Wynn anytime soon. I also have a feeling that the publicist for the Wynn that has now undoubtedly scared countless high rollers away from the casino is going to be drug out back and shot. I've seen Casino a few times...I know how these things work...

Luck be a T-Wolf...tonight!

The Minnesota Timberwolves have never moved up draft positions via the NBA lottery in their existence. Considering where they currently stand, and the fact that the draft is very top heavy with two players, tonight would be a great time to break that streak. After being invited by a good buddy of mine who happens to be a Wolves employee, my roommate Mars, Amanda, and myself are going to venture down to NBA city for their lottery party. This party should be interesting because the entire lottery process takes about 5 minutes, thus the mood of the party will be determined rather quickly. Will there be more F-Bombs or Jag Bombs tonight amongst the dwindling wolves faithful? Tune in and see for yourself at 6:30 CST on ESPN....

Lebron James Is Pretty Good...

The 66 win Boston Celtics are on the ropes thanks to Lebron James and his mediocre teammates. Last night Bron capped off a 9-2 Cavs run with a murderous dunk that even managed to shut KG's ever-running yapper momentarily. It's simply amazing to me that a guy that averages 30 points, 8 rebounds, 7 assists, and 2 steals a game isn't even in the conversation for NBA MVP. James is STILL only 23 years old...it's ridiculous how good he is. Yes, Kobe Bryant is one hell of a player, but I honestly feel that if you switched those two players the Lakers would be a better basketball team. Take a glance at the rosters of Cleveland, and then the Lakers, and tell me who is working with infinitely more talent.

Booty, Booty, Booty, Booty Rockin' Everywhere!

For the first time in 16 years, I failed to watch the entire first two rounds of the NFL Draft. A friend's wedding happened to take place on Draft Day, thus I was relegated to "watching" the first 13 picks of draft during the ceremony on my iphone, and then was able to see picks 14-27 at what they apparently call a sports bar in Brooklyn Park. The wedding was over by 3:15 and the reception didn't start until 5:30, so I had two hours to kill, and thought I'd take in some actual tv coverage of the draft at a bar near the reception. Unfortunately, there was ONE establishment anywhere near Edinburgh Golf Course, where the reception was being held, and let's just say that it wasn't the ideal viewing experience. I'm not going to name names, but I would suggest skipping past Kelly's 19Th Hole next time you're cruising through Brooklyn Park. It's never a good sign when you walk into a 4,000 square foot bar/restaurant and there are two people sitting inside on a Saturday afternoon. The 19" TV with a buzzing sound made that vein in my forehead stand at attention. Kelly's was one of those bars that has the beer jerky in a tin, and a chip clip string hanging behind the register. I love the old dive bars as much as the next guy, but when a new bar goes for that theme, and it's in the suburbs of the Twin Cities, it seems just more creepy than nostalgic. You just think there is a strong possibility that Buffalo bill is lowering some lotion down a well back where the kitchen is supposed to be.

Anyways...some draft thoughts:

-A big surprise in the first round was Matt Millen not taking a WR. Instead Millen got caught up in the OT run and reached on Gosder Cherilus. It must really, REALLY suck to be a Lions fan...

-Some wedding attendees aren't all that impressed if you decide to refresh the browser on your phone during a wedding ceremony every 35 seconds to catch a draft update...

-Although I was the most popular person at the wedding with the sports fans. You would've thought I was handing out crack on East Lake Street the way people were tapping my shoulder and whispering to me...

-Jacksonville gave up waaay too much for Derrick Harvey...

-I would be a little concerned if I were Baltimore about Joe Flacco's ability to jump from Delaware to the NFL. After watching Tarvaris make the jump, I wouldn't be putting all of my Raven eggs in his basket for 2008 quite yet...

-Assuming the Madieu Williams signing pans out, safety wasn't an immediate position of need, but I think the Vikes got solid value with Tyrell Johnson. He's a big, fast safety that can hit and cover. A 2010 Darren Sharper replacement...

-I absolutey LOVE the John David Booty pick in the 5th round...again great value. This is the prototypical QB for Chilly's offense. Cerebral, quick feet, quick decision-making, and he's played in ha-yuge games during his two years as a starter at USC. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he made a push to play at some point this year, ala Trent Edwards, the Bills 4Th rounder from last year. At the very least Booty gives us a Plan B for the future, a guy we can groom and see what develops.


-The best part of the draft: We got JARED ALLEN.

Physical Specimen...

I think Tiger and JD have taken different paths to excel at their sport. Tiger likes to be in peak physical condition, combining weight training with cardio, and a healthy diet. JD likes to drink heavily, combining obsessive gambling with cartons of cigarretes. To each his own...

NFL Draft?

Apparently the NFL Draft takes place this weekend...I had no idea. The past six months of hype, mock drafts, columns, Mel Kiper Jr. screaming at people, and NFL Combine coverage didn't get the message across.

The Vikes traded away their 1st round pick, as well as both of their 3rd rounders in the Jared Allen trade, so their first selection in the 2008 NFL Draft will come in the 2nd round with the 47th overall pick. With needs at OL, CB, WR, and QB, here are a few players I think they will target with that selection:

Offensive Linemen:
-Sam Baker, Tackle, USC
-Duane Brown, Tackle, VT
-Carl Nicks, Tackle, Nebraska


Corner:
-Antoine Cason, Arizona
-Aqib Talib, Kansas

WR:
-Limas Sweed, Texas
-Early Doucet, LSU
-Mario Manningham, Michigan
-James Hardy, Indiana

QB:
-Joe Flacco, Delaware
-Chad Henne, Michigan
-Brian Brohm, Louisville

I'd really love to see a QB at this pick if one of the aforementioned guys falls to pick 47, as the Vikings have nothing in place should Tarvaris not live up to his conspicuously lofty expectations. Gus Frerotte is 46 years old, and likely won't be around next season, so a young guy to groom, and push TJ would be a huge addition to the future health of the franchise.

I thought this column was really interesting...it's from SI.com's Michael Lombardi, who has been in dozens of draft war rooms, discussing his hypothetical strategy if he was running the draft for 5 different teams...

Addition by Addition...

Upon hearing that the Vikes acquired Jared Allen at 10pm on Tuesday night while driving down Washington Ave., I stared long enough at the text message that I may have ran over a few people. On the subject of running over people, how good is a D-Line of Jared Allen, Pat Williams, Kevin Williams, and Ray Edwards/Erasmus James/Brian Robison going to be? Unleash the hounds Leslie Frazier! The one thing missing the past three seasons with the Williams Wall has been a steady force putting pressure on the exterior of the O-Line to take attention away from K-Will and Fat Pat. All three of these guys command a double team, so I expect even the currently nameless fourth defensive line starter to have one hell of a season.

After watching Randy Moss, Johan Santana, Kevin Garnett, and Torii Hunter all depart the Twin Cities sports market for often 50 cents on the dollar, it was refreshing to see a Minnesota pro sports franchise step up to the plate and deliver a solid trade that improves the championship aspirations. While the trade was first reported as a 2008 1st, a 2008 3rd, and a 2009 3rd, come morning it was clarified as the #17 pick as well as both of the Vikes 2008 3rd round picks. My initial thought was this was simply too much to give up for a guy that has a shaky track record, but at second glance, I would make this trade again in a second. Derrick Harvey isn't likely to be the player that Jared Allen is. Phillip Merlins isn't likely to be the player that Jared Allen is. If, Allen, in present form, was in the 2008 NFL Draft, he'd no doubt be the first pick because people want the sure thing. Well #69 IS the sure thing. Allen is a rock-solid, complete defensive end that will provide the entire purple defense with a trickle down effect of improvement. When Aaron Rodgers faces some pressure from the front seven, suddenly the secondary will look better. At 26 years-old, Allen should be highly productive for the majority of the six year contract, but the impact will be felt be felt as soon as he steps on the field...


-Judd Zulgad discusses Allen's maturation from the Kansas City party boy, to a sober 26 year-old young man that goes to bed at 10PM...

-Pat Reusse says the Purple Pride just jumped up a few notches in Minnesota...

It's Mullet Time!

People of Minnesota: Meet Jared Allen...

Lady Luck...

I had planned to write pretty extensively about the Masters, seeing as it's my favorite sporting event of the year, but then the 2008 Masters happened. Trevor Immelman won, and that's really all you need to know. There was no drama, no "signature moment"...it was uncharacteristically uneventful. So let's move on...

Vegas. I leave tomorrow afternoon. Awesome.

My boy Taryn is getting married on May 9th (when you can also watch me botch a best man speech), so a group of fifteen yahoos is heading out to Vegas to get weird with him one last time before he is locked away forever. Another buddy, Sacia, somehow has our group hooked up as high-rollers at Mandalay Bay all weekend. I am not quite sure if I want to know how he pulled that off, but I'm not going to start asking questions and worry about how he worked a comped suite.

Some of the things that I always look forward to in Vegas:

-Getting five or six of your boys on the same blackjack table during your first foray into the casino on opening night of the trip...

-Walking the strip with a 24oz Miller Lite can

-Sitting in the sportsbook and betting on absolutely anything while enjoying dozens of complimentary cocktails...

-Seeing what my knucklehead friends wear...I can always tell we're in trouble when I start getting the "what are you wearing in Vegas?" calls two days before the trip. I wouldn't rule out anything with this crew...I think I even heard Blair mention the words "neon loafers"...good god...

-That $15 bottle of water that inevitably gets consumed the morning immediately following the 37 drink rampage night...

-The plane ride out there...EVERYBODY is stoked, and why wouldn't you be? You're heading to a city in the United States that has perfect weather, 24 hour bars, 24 hour gambling, 24 hour food, and whatever else you could possibly be looking for...

Yes, one of the best cities in the world has a lot of good times to offer. This weekend might even live up to the hype that has been generated by approximately 7,438 emails over the past five months. I have never been to Vegas with Sacia, and that troubles me. This kid is in his absolute element as soon as his plane touches the ground. Gambling? Check. Smokes? Check. Drinks? Check. The ability to spend ridiculous amounts of money for fun? Check. I think ol' Sacia will be a key addition to the trip this year. It is the vacation equivalent of the New England Patriots landing LaDanian Tomlinson for the playoffs...the best gets better.

Let's quickly discuss some prop bets for the weekend:

-Chad gets married to a male between the hours of 4-8am: 7-1

-Over/under on the dollar amount Sacia spends on room service between 5-8am: $341.50

-Someone in the group dies: 15-1

-Rucker bets on auto racing, tennis, bowling, or English Soccer Premiership: 1-2

-We get denied at a club because of somebody's attire: Off the board



Everybody have a good weekend...I'm sure we will...Go WILD!!!

Oohhhh My Gaaaaaaaaaahhd!

I am not one of those people that is constantly bashing SNL, and recalling the good old days of this cast or that cast. I think that what they are doing right now is actually really funny. Also, if you notice, each cast that has ever been assembled has been widely considered a flop while actually on air, only to be considered hilarious after they left. When Farley, Sandler, and Spade were on in the early 90's many longed for the nights of Carvey, Lovitz, and Nealon. Will Ferrell and his crew took over in the mid 90's and the ratings plummeted. There was even speculation the long-running sketch show would be cancelled during the Ferrell years...and now he's the biggest comedic star in the world.

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now...check out this hilarious performance by Kristen Wiig:

They Are Not Always Free...

All year long, you heard about how Memphis had the inability to make free throws when it counted. It counted last night...and they proved the skeptics correct. This game was highly entertaining...the athleticism was unreal. Guys from both teams were ball-hawking like Mom's shopping for Nintendo Wii's during Christmas. Both Kansas and Memphis played tremendous defense, and left everything on the floor. Unfortunately for John Calipari's Tiger's, they left it all on the floor in regulation. Mario Chalmers hits the shot heard 'round Lawrence and sends the Jayhawks into OT, after being down 9 points with two minutes remaining:

Once OT got going, it became very evident that Memphis was wore out. Kansas was able to send waves of long, quick guards at Rose and CDR all evening long, and it eventually paid off. CDR was obviously fatigued during his last four free throw attempts, short-arming each one off the front rim, and Rose was cramping up like he just crushed a pizza and went for a swim.

Rock, chalk, Jayhawk...what a tournament!

Up next: The Masters...

Title Time...

Here is some stuff from around the web discussing tonight's NCAA Men's Basketball Championship...

-SI's Luke Winn gives 5 reasons why Memphis is the pick...

-SI's Stewart Mandel counters with his reasons for picking Kansas...minus the Sean Salisbury/John Clayton scripted junior high school name calling session...

-One of the best ESPN.com has to offer, Gene Wojciechowski, chronicles the maturation of Memphis's Joey Dorsey...

-Sid Hartman, the 117 year-old Star Tribune reporter, discusses the local product, Cole Aldrich, who has really came on as of late for Bill Self...


For what it's worth here is my prediction:
Memphis finally meets it's athletic match in Kansas. The Jayhawks have the horses to run all day and night with Memphis, and defend them as well. Brandon Rush will simply not allow CDR to put up 28 points as he did so easily against UCLA Saturday. In a matchup of two coaches that are both experiencing the championship game for the first time, I think Bill Self and the Kansas Jayhawks cut the nets down in San Antonio tonight...Kansas 77, Memphis 71...

Busted Brackets...

I was sitting at Buffalo Wild Wings in Roseville with Rucker on Saturday night taking in the UCLA-Memphis tilt, basking in the glory of my still intact UCLA-UNC Championship possibility when the wheels came off the 2008 Aaron Steele NCAA bracket. Memphis rolled on UCLA, and Kansas rolled on UNC, setting up tonights Championship game that should be high-flying. I really thought that UCLA had the half-court game and the clamp-down defense that could slow Memphis's gongshow on steroids attack. For some reason, Kevin Love hardly touched the ball in the second half, which is asinine considering that Joey Dorsey was in foul trouble, and Love has been such a gamer this tournament. The freshmen from Oregon had carried UCLA on his very capable shoulders through the first four rounds of basketball, but Saturday night he looked like a 2001 Ford Taurus trying to keep up at Talledega with the way Memphis flies around the court.

So in the end, I lost my bracket, a $50 friendly wager with Rucker, and my feeling of a "healthy Saturday" that I had going for me after a nice afternoon run was ruined by 6 beers and some buffalo wings.

On The Clock...

I am still shoveling out of the seven inches of snow that fell on Minneapolis last night...in case you forgot yesterday was March 31st. One day before April. Have I told you that I love Minnesota?

ESPN has been running individual team "On The Clock" segments each week day working their way up to the 2008 NFL Draft. Today the Vikings were featured...

Twins Time...

The Minnesota Twins 2008 baseball season kicks off in 3 days, with a 6:05 game against Torii Hunter and the Anaheim Angels. I am predicting that Hunter will receive 75% cheers vs. 23% boos vs. 2% drunken hollering (Eric Marquardt is going to the game with our group). Why fans continue to boo players that leave their teams as a free agent is beyond me? Arent we all used to this by now? If you get all huffy and puffy every time a guy you root for leaves for supposed greener pastures, you're going to have a hard time watching sports for the remainder of your life. It happens...deal with it and move on. That being said, let's discuss the 2008 Minnesota Twins...

-I'm VERY excited about Delmon Young..like .310, 23 HR, 90 RBI excited. The Twins posess the best collection of outfield arms in the game. Cuddy, Gomez, and Delmon all have bazooka's (isn't cannon getting a little over used when describing a guys arm strength?).

-The pitching scares me. Livan Hernandez is basically going to be a Carlos Silva clone...4.25 ERA, 220 innings pitched, 12-14 record. Hernandez will be an innings gobbler, as well as a Burger King gobbler, and he'll be able to keep the bullpen rested once every five days. Boof is really the only other starter with any thing that resembles experience. After those two, it gets REAL dicey. Baker and Slowey have both been minor league darlings, but have been very inconsistent up in Minnesota. The absolute wild card in this discussion is Francisco Liriano, who I can see doing anything from winning the AL Cy Young award to never pitching in the major leagues again. I have no idea what the Franchise has in store for us this year...it doesn't help that he's about as open about his injuries as Barry Bonds is to steroid discussion. Is Liriano hurting right now? Is he just regaining his 2006 form? Who the hell knows...but what I do know is that the chance to compete and play .500 baseball lies in his surgically repair elbow.

-Kelsie Smith, from the Pioneer Press has a great article on Liriano's recovery...

-Did you know that Joe Mauer has sideburns? I've never heard of such a thing...

-Speaking of Mauer, Joe really needs to step up this year in my eyes. Play through a little pain once in a while, and DH here and there to keep his bat in the lineup. The "Minnesota boy made it big" story starts to wear thin when you realize he's about as durable as Glass Joe from Mike Tyson's Punchout...


-I think Morneau is in for a big year...I hear less and less about him out at the Mpls bars running game on 21 year old St. Thomas girls, which leads me to believe he's getting over that phase and looking to take baseball as seriously as possible. Which should be a scary thought for AL pitchers, as the Canadian has put together monster halves of seasons, but not a complete 162 game dominance...yet. 2008 is the year he goes wire to wire with a .295, 42HR, 130 RBI ass whooping. Eh?

NCAA Tournament- Day 2

9:32- The Favorites went 14-2 yesterday, so everybody's bracket is looking fairly intact at this point. I can't say the same about Marquardt's hair.

-Duke really struggled last night against Belmont State, narrowly pulling out a last second victory via a Gerald Henderson coast-to-coast layup with two seconds remaining. ESPN.com's Dana O'Neil writes how the Duke mystique is rapidly fading....

-Michael Beasley was the MAN last night, getting the best of his much-hyped matchup with O.J. Mayo and the USC Trojans

11:21- Bill Raferty: "And Vern Lundquist, American comes out in a mantaman!!!"

11:23- I just received a text from my boy Dane Fischer. Fish is the top assistant at Rider, and trust me when I tell you that he will have a major impact on this tournament someday. Big time...I'm talking Homer Drew type stuff. Rider just missed out on an NCAA Tournament bid when they last their conference championship game to Siena, the team that many are now picking to take down Vandy tonight.

11:26- Whoa...Rucker nearly spit his Miller Lite out upon seeing Billy Packer in HD...100 inches of high definition Packer isn't necessary before noon. Ever.

11:30- I received a few comments on here yesterday...that was a first, so I wasn't aware of it until this morning. Apparently my buddy who works for a certain professional sports franchise in Minnesota was reading the blog yesterday and noticed the Audrina info. Short story, short...the president of the team happened to walk by while all of Audrina's glory was up on his computer screen. Good times...

11:42- The gambling has started...Aaron Steele takes Tennessee -20 over American University (is that the school in the Mall of America?) after Rodney let's us all know that Bruce Pearl's crew plays "totally out of control". No worries...Rod also calls traveling almost every trip up and down the floor...

11:43- Forgot to mention...Big Rodney is my Dad. He's white...he just has an awesome name.

12:10- Thoroughly enjoying the Davidson-Gonzaga game. Both of these teams are bombing away, the uni's are amongst the sharpest I've seen this year, and Jim Nantz has reminded us twice now that Stephen Curry's name is pronounced "Steffen", not "Steven". Thanks Jim.

12:11- Four really solid games going on right now...all are within seven points. In a somewhat related note, Dan Monson is nowhere to be found...


12:20- One of my sweet 16 teams is looking a little vulnerable at the moment. The last two shots Drake took in the first half were a 33 foot three-pointer, trying to take advantage of the shot clock, and Emmenecker with a wild, running over his shoulder left-handed runner that went completely over the backboard. Reminescent of my pickup ball days at the Athletic Club.


1:08- Stephen Curry is in full NBA Jam "He's on FIRE!!" mode at this point. 24 points in the second half and he's drilling 25 footers with two guys in his face. The Davidson-Zags game is as good as it gets...

1:36- Final score from Raleigh: Davidson 86, Gonzaga 76. Stephen Curry ended up with 40 points...30 of which came in the second half. He. Is. Good.

2:08- Western Kentucky's Ty Rodgers, just had his one shining moment...as he DRILLS A three with no time on the clock to beat Drake 101-99. Huge shot...the absolute highlight of the tourney thus far. If you're wondering why the posts have been less frequent today, it's a result of the huge ass snowstorm we are currently experiencing in Minnesota, which has directly resulted in the Miller Lites flowing at a rather rapid pace. My bad.

2:13- Rod warns us to look out for Austin Peay against Texas, citing the in-state rivalry. Elsewhere in his USC football office, Pete Carrol shudders as he stares at UC-Riverside on the Trojan's 2008 schedule.

2:31- Two quick notes:

-Mars has cracked the porn barrier by 2:10pm...a new personal record for Eric. We're all very impressed.

-This has nothing to do with basketball, but while goofing around on youtube, I came across this classic ESPN commercial. Charlie Steiner just KILLS me at the end...

8:41- Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnd we're back! Completely dropped the ball on the blog updates this afternoon. My passport files were breached, and I had to do a few media interviews. Today has been tremendous...no complaints. Three absolutely classic games...led by Western Kentucky's overtime win over Drake. The most impressive victory of the evening may have been Siena taking Vandy down by 21. The aforementioned Dane Fischer, who is the assistant at Rider University, has to feel pretty good about watching the Siena team that ended his season demolish a solid Vanderbilt team that many penciled in as a sleeper.

8:50- Mars asks us what number Eric Gordon is...

8:51- Mars argues that Eric Gordon is better than DJ White. Definitely a valid point...although a little more valid if you even know what he looks like...

9:00- The beers are flowing heavily, and several members of our party have taken the stance of "if I was starting a NBA team, Lebron isn't a guy I would look towards". I will protect their identities to avoid future embarassment.

9:31- We are currently googling Robert "Tractor" Traylor...priceless stuff: "In January 2007 Traylor pleaded guilty in federal court to a federal income tax charge, the result of his dealings with a notorious Detroit mariuana dealer 'and Traylor's cousin' 'Quasand Lewis'. Traylor is currently charged with laundering more than $4Million worth of drug money for Quasand, who has been found guilty of laundering more than $180M in marijuana and cocaine drug money." Rod's quote: "He made more money in college than he did in the pros...". Great stuff...next up: Shawn Kemp.


9:34- We're still confirming details, but apparently Kemp has like 87 kids.

NCAA Tournament- Day 1

12:20- We're coming to you LIIIIIVVVE from Rucker's basement/Sports Emporium! The fellas and I are relaxing in black leather stadium style seating, enjoying the view on the 100inch HD projection screen, and pouring taps of Heineken. Life is good. Present for day one, we have Nathan Rucker, Eric Marquardt, Aaron Steele, and Anton Chigurh from No Country For Old Men is standing in the corner with a metal canister of air. Anton doesn't say much, and he's beyond creepy, but he'll come in pretty handy if we get locked out of the house.


12:30- Xavier is down 11 early in the second half...good thing I have the Muskateers advancing to the Elite 8. This may be an early bracket crumple year for Aaron.

12:43- Eric is excited about the amount of candy that is present. This is a guy that had 25 people chanting his name at a somewhat classy restaurant last Friday night as he consecutively devoured four cupcakes in one bite per cupcake. Combine the basketball, candy, and beer that is going on right now, and let's just say that Eric is probably pumped to the point where he shouldn't be wearing sweatpants...

12:52- Xavier has climbed back to within 6, with 12:05 to go...my frown is turning upside down.

12:54- I have no idea who is announcing this game, but I'm already yearning for some Gus Johnson enthusiasm. Let's get pumped up on some Gus Johnson calls from the last few years:




1:18- Rucks and I just decided that Dave Bliss, #44 for the Georgia Bulldogs, looks remarkably like Hans Klopek from The Burbs.


1:29- We are currently debating what more computer screens are tuned into at the moment: Newly surfaced pictures of Audrina from "The Hills", or the NCAA tournament scores. Our laptop scores it 1-1. I'll have Anton flip a coin...

1:46- There are approximately 300 people at the Marquette-Kentucky game. I'm guessing most of the Milwaukee population is still hungover from last night, considering it's only 11:50am in Anaheim. 37 PBR's and 4 bratwursts will do that to you...

2:33- Alright...we're back after a short break to get after the Heineken, and partake in some meatballs/pepper jack cheese/oreo's. Kent State has 8 points through the first sixteen minutes of the game. They're on pace for 20. Women's basketball coaches from the 1930's everywhere are rejoicing the return of "fundamentals".

2:35- Current consumption check: Rucker-4 Miller Lites, Steele- 3 Heineken's, and Marquardt- 4 Miller Lites, 1 Heineken, and three creepy comments about the temperature of the meatballs that he keeps affectionately calling "balls".

2:43- Carter Blackburn, a new announcer for CBS, looks all of seventeen years old. He's rocking a rather classy pocket square in a rather NOT classy CBS Sports blazer. I'm anxiously awaiting a "boom goes the dynamite" comment...


2:53- The first "chill" inducing moment of the 2008 NCAA Tournament comes not from an actual game, but from a new Nike commercial. Because I'm always looking out for you, my three faithful readers, I've got it for you:

3:31- Thank God for the Kentucky Wildcats, who are making their game with Marquette interesting, because the other three games are twenty point blowouts. This tournament hasn't witnessed an upset yet...the only upset I've seen today is the bag of oreo's survived Marquardt's stomach past 3:30pm.

3:36- Kentucky just drilled a 3, making it a 3 point game with 38 seconds left...meanwhile Rucker, Mars, and I are discussing the 1998 Vikings, which is like discussing that incredibly hot girl that you met at the bar 9 years ago. This girl talked to you for a good hour, flirted heavily, gave you her number...and then you called her the next day and it was a pizza hut.


4:03- Purdue is wrapping up their game against Baylor, and we are going to wrap up this afternoon session by finding out what happy hour in Stillwater, MN has to offer. Back in two hours...

8:03- Ok...so it was more like four hours.

8:05- We have been watching the USC-K State game at Buffalo Wild wings, and have decided that Michael Beasley would look pretty damn good in a Wolves uni. We also decided that Mars has a female appetite for buffalo wings...

8:23- Belmont just about shocked the world, narrowingly missing a 35 footer that would've taken down Duke with no time on the clock. The tourney has officially started! Where was Bill Rafterty for the commentary on that game?! Duke is looking as solid as the Dow Jones at the moment. The people that picked West Virginia to beat the Blue Devils in round two are currently crushing Miller Lites (at least one of them is).

9:09- Maxwell Rucker decided to grace us with his presence this evening for the Wisconsin game. He passed on filling out a bracket this year, but DID decide to enter a most awesome pj's competition. Polls are still open...vote early and vote often.

Deja Vu All Over Again...

Ladies and Gentlemen...Blake Hoffarber:


If that name, or his penchant for beating buzzers rings a bell, it's because Blake was the kid from Hopkins that hit the shot from his ass in the Minnesota State High School Basketball Tournament in 2005. Hoffarber earned an ESPY for that shot, and forever earned the right to scoff at the notion of "get up off your butt and do something".

Passing on Protection...

It looks like Bryant McKinnie keeps stepping up the level of classy gals he rolls with. As soon as I determine what is the next rung on the ladder below crack whore, I'll keep you posted as to what McKinnie is up to next. I love how our left tackle just keeps it ghetto through and through. Starting fights at gas stations at 5am, beating up bouncers at clubs, getting WEIRD on the "Love Boat", and by weird I mean it sounds like this guy was feeding the geese more than tourists visiting Silver Lake in Rochester. For those of you not familiar with Silver Lake or Rochester...there is a lot of geese, and a lot of feeding of them. Good job Bryant!

He's Scoring at Home...

The Twins and Red Sox squared off yesterday, pitting their respective prized young arms against each other. Francisco Liriano threw for the Twins, and Clay Buchholz took the mound for Boston. The Franchise somewhat struggled, getting through 2 innings before being pulled with no outs in the 3rd. Liriano allowed three runs on four hits, but was rather upbeat in his postgame interview. After watching Liriano basically lie to the Twins coaching staff the entire month of September 2006, he comes off as trustworthy as Eliot Spitzer. The big news of the day, however, was Mr. Buchholz and his infamous girlfriend. Apparently, Clay is dating the 2007 Penthouse Pet of the year Erica Ellyson. Hopefully the young Sox hurler sees some success on the mound this year for the defending Champs, so he can at least step it up to playboy...I mean Penthouse? Do you really want your girl flashing her meat locker to millions of horny losers that live in their mom's basement?

On the Horizon...

Next Thursday and Friday I took off work, so that for the first time since my senior year of college, I would be able to watch the first round of the Men's NCAA Basketball Tournament in its entirety. My good pal Rucker invited a select few of us over to take it all on his 96" HD screen, from the comfort of leather stadium seating.

When my boss asked me what the vacation was for, and if I was heading out of town, I told him that I was indeed....I was heading to Stillwater to sit in Rucker's basement and watch college basketball for two straight days.

Anyways...the big news here is that I will be blogging the entire experience with a minimum of hourly updates. Rod Steele will be in attendance, a keg of Miller Lite is on reserve at MGM Liquors in Stillwater, and I plan on keeping you all up to speed on what the crew of idiots is up to. A few quick predictions:

-My rommate, Eric Marquardt will have his bracket in the trash by Thursday at 6:30pm
-My writing will peak around the 7th beer of the day (approximate estimated time of 3:45pm CST), and then head downhill quickly in the evening hours
-Gus Johnson will be excited
-58 year old Rod Steele will kick off the keg stands
-Finally...all of our significant others will start aggressively looking for other guys...

The Meaning of Life...

A few of my readers that are more on the casual side of sports fandom have asked me what the title of my blog means, or where I came up with it. Without further adieu, I present: Herm Edwards...

Finally...

After years of speculation, Brett Favre announced his retirement today ending his storybook 17 year career in the National Football League...probably. I've been watching sports long enough to know that no doors ever really close when somebody says that they are retiring. Couldn't you just envision a scenario in June when Favre gets that itch going and decides to give it just one more shot? Regardless of speculation, I wanted to post some videos to honor a guy that I have always greatly respected, despite wearing the Packers jersey that I grew up despising. Favre reminds me of how my brother and I used to play football in the backyard when we were kids. Having an absolute blast...and competitive as all hell. Always smiling...because, yeah the NFL has become a business like no other sport, but at the end of the day football is still fun, and Brett Favre reminded us of that for seventeen years. Thanks #4...we'll miss you...

Thanksgiving 2007 Tribute


The OT TD to Jennings against Denver


ESPN Sound Bytes before 2005 MNF Game


The post game interview from Favre's first game...complete with a pre-murderous OJ, who comes across about as creepy as that 46 year old guy that frequents Gap Kids, but never buys anything...


Finally, the interview following the season finale of the 2006 season, in which Favre cried, and sounded as if he was done for good...stay tuned...

Free Advice for Free Agency...

NFL's free agency officially kicks off tonight at midnight EST, and although the 2008 free agent class is somewhat thin as a result of the salary cap jumping up and teams resigning and franchising their own guys, there are still some players available that can turn the Purple into NFC contenders next season. Minnesota has approximately $30M to work with under the cap, ample room to vastly improve their roster. Without further adieu, I present my 2008 Minnesota Vikings Off Season Plan:

1. Sign Derek Anderson to a 4 year, $30M Contract, with the first two years guaranteed. Because Cleveland has tendered Anderson, the Vikings are obligated to fork over a 1st and 3rd round draft pick. Fine. Last time I checked we haven't exactly set the world on fire with our drafting ability. If you take AD out of the mix it looks REALLY bad. Derek Anderson is 24 years old...he's 2 months younger than Tarvaris Jackson. I am one that adheres to the train of thought that you can tell fairly quickly what you have in the quarterback position. When discussing Tarvaris Jackson, people LOVE to point out that Eli Manning struggled mightily his first 3 years, and there was even talk of benching him this season. No argument there...here is the difference though: Manning showed flashes of brilliance. Eli would have games where he threw for 350 and 2 TD's, followed by 100 yard, 2 INT stinkers. TJ hasn't shown me those flashes. He has at best been a game manager, and that isn't going to get it done in January.


2. Sign DJ Hackett to a 5 year, $22.5M deal. Bernard Berrian is the enticing WR of this free agent class, but I think teams are going to absurdly overpay for his services. Berrian is an intriguing player, no doubt, but I would be reluctant to give him Deion Branch money at this point. Hackett is younger, more versed in our offensive scheme, and would be a great compliment to Sydney Rice.

3. Draft Tom Zbikowski with our 2nd round pick. Have you seen this kid play? He's unreal...check out this youtube highlight video, he scores like he's on a drunken vacation with Lindsay Lohan.


4. Sign Tennessee DE Antwan Odom to a 4 year, $24M deal. This kid is an absolute riser in this league. He has the size (6'5" 275) to fill in for Udeze, as well as the production to warrant shelling out that kind of cash. Jeff Fisher knows how to coach young defensive players, so Odom has thus far learned from one of the best coaching staffs in the league. Let's please pass on Justin Smith, Mike Rucker, and the other "name" free agents. I want to pay younger, hungrier players who will produce on the field.

So there you go...four moves that I believe will place the Vikings in contention next season in the wide open NFC race. You thought Adrian Peterson was effective last season running behind a TJ offense...just you wait until you witness what he can do with a capable NFL quarterback. Hell...nobody had seen Jamal Lewis run like he did in 2007 since his federal drug deal days. Did Lewis suddenly find the fountain of youth? No...he ran behind a solid Quarterback that made the defense respect the passing attack...he didn't have that luxury in Baltimore.

Now...if only Zygi would just hand me the keys to the shiny purple car...

"RAINDROPS!!"

At the Accenture Match Play Championship, which started on Wednesday, Tiger Woods was down 3 holes with 5 to play against upstart J.B. Holmes...then he realized that he's Tiger Woods. Watch this absolutely ridiculous display of putting ability...if only he had started making the Ty Webb "nnnnananananananana" noises as he stares a fearful Holmes down...

Never Really Caught On...

From the obvious news department: Troy Williamson is on the market...(gasp!)...yeah, you read that correctly, the Vikings are shopping the 7th pick in the 2005 draft.

Now, no one is confusing me for Fred Biletnikoff for my wisdom on the WR positon, but I can take a stab at why we are no longer interested in Williamson's services: He can't CATCH THE GODDAMN BALL. Troy's job responsibilities are as follows:
1. Run a route (can't)
2. Catch the ball (can't)
3. Make a play with the ball (please refer to nos. 1 & 2 above)

Look, I know he's a nice kid, and I do feel the slightest bit bad for him with all of the verbal abuse the guy takes. Then I realize that he got paid millions of dollars to be terrible at his job. Is that REALLY that bad of a deal for the kid? I will sit in center field of the Metrodome from 8-5 Monday through Friday and listen to 64,000 people violently boo me for that kind of money. Sign me up!

Supershow...

Reversing a largely downward trend, the 2008 NBA Dunk Contest was thoroughly entertaining Saturday night. Dwight Howard, at 6'11", became the tallest player in the history of the contest to take home the Championship trophy. Or at least he won it...I really have no idea what those guys do with the trophies, but I would venture a guess that Kenny "Sky" Walker's and Harold "Baby Jordan" Miner's can be had for pennies on the dollar.

Here is Howard Supermanning the show:


While Gerald Green didn't win any eloquence contests, he did come up with the most creative dunk of the evening.

A Mixed Bag...

I apologize to my three readers that I haven't gotten around to a posting yet this week. Unfortunately, I was testifying before congress surrounding some Gatorade that I drank in B-Squad basketball, although it didn't go all that well because I "misremembered".

Pretty pathetic display by all parties involved in the Clemens hearing. Everybody is lying, and what is Congress doing investigating this anyway? Don't we have a borderline financial crisis in this country on the horizon? It seems our tax dollars would probably be better served...but that just makes too much sense.

I have found a new band that I think is putting out some extremely solid music right now, Vampire Weekend. Below is the video for "APunk":


My goal here is just to keep you kids in the cool.

One of my best friends, Dane Fischer, is the top assistant for Rider University's Men's basketball team.

The Broncs are leading the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference...this is division one basketball here folks. Look out for D. Fish and the Broncs in your bracket come March. Our hometown daily newspaper, The Rochester Post-Bulletin, did a feature on Dane earlier this week...discussing following his heart into coaching. Great stuff by my guy Pat Ruff.

Welcome Back...

Kevin Garnett is coming to town...sort of. In an odd series of events, KG is extremely doubtful for his homecoming at the Target Center this evening as a result of an elbow from Big Al Jefferson when the Wolves and Celts squared off in a rather raucous battle in Boston two weeks ago. The trash talking was at an all-time high between Garnett and the centerpiece of the Boston trade, Jefferson...Jim Souhan details a particularly sharp tongued exchange. The NBA has given the Timberwolves a one minute exemption during introductions tonight to honor Garnett, although I have a feeling a sold-out Target Center, filled with fans that paid top dollar to see Garnett, will need a little more time than that pay homage to the guy that IS the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Here are NBA TV's Top 10 Kevin Garnett Moments in Minnesota:


Although after watching that "Top 10" you will wonder how the game 6 against Sacramento in the 03-04 Playoffs wasn't even ON THE LIST?


-The C's should take their time with Garnett's injury writes Jackie MacMullan.

-Fanhouse notes that the Wolves will offer their disappointed fans free tickets to a future game tonight.

-McHale scoffs at the notion of a McHale to Ainge trade pipeline...

Big Wednesday...

There is a ton of stuff going on today...Shaq news, UNC-Duke, National Signing Day...so what am I doing? Going to 27 Dresses...because I'm THAT awesome. It's a long, tedious story that involves making someone sit through what I think was a FDA epileptic seizure testing facility, but for some reason it was at a movie theater and they called it Cloverfield.

#2 Duke pays a visit to #3 UNC tonight, but unfortunately for Tar Heel fans, point guard Ty Lawson is likely out with an ankle injury. This will mark the first time these two teams have faced off since Gerald Henderson broke Tyler Hansbrough's nose late in a game, where UNC had a large lead. I'm sure the kids at the Smith Center will be more than cordial to Henderson and the Blue Devils.

Phoenix is contemplating throwing their season and trading for 35 year-old Shaquille O'Neal. How does a 350 pound Shaq fit in with Steve Nash and the run and gun Suns? Has Mike D'Antoni decided to scrap his high-flying offense? If so...why? Phoenix leads the Western Conference by a game and a half as of Wednesday, they're playing great basketball lately, winning 8 of 10, and they are just about to kick off a long home stretch. Here is a bigger question: Why Shaq at this point, and NOT Kevin Garnett this summer? KG is healthy, 5 years younger, hungrier, and look how Boston is doing. This makes zero sense to this guy...so of course Phoenix will now go on and win the NBA title, defeating San Antonio in the Western Conference Finals behind Shaq's giant defensive presence in the paint, stifling Tim Duncan.

It's great to see Tim Brewster following through on his much discussed recruiting ability. The Gophers currently sport the 17th ranked recruiting class in the nation according to SI.com. So we now know that Brewcrew can recruit...let's see if he can coach this fall.

I'll make sure and let you know how the movie went.

Nobody's Perfect...

Just a tremendous football game last night. Awesome. The Loop patrons were 90% in the pro-giants camp, so you can imagine the mayhem that ensued those last two minutes in the game while Eli was working his magic. Here is clip that goes from "The Catch" to the Plax TD:

Sports Guy wrote a great column about how it feels to be on the other end of the deal after his Boston teams have had so much success in the last 6 years between the two Red Sox World Series victories, and the Pats 3 Super Bowl rings. This game was eerily similar to the 2001 Super Bowl that featured an offense many were calling the greatest of all time, an MVP Quarterback, A coach with a Super Bowl win on his resume...and the result was the same. The two touchdown underdog Giants, and back in the '01 SB the two touchdown underdog Pats, both played flawless games, and basically smashed the hell out of the Lamborghini offenses. Justin Tuck was a monster in this game, and Osi and Mike Strahan closely followed suit. Tom Brady was sacked 5 times and knocked down TWENTY THREE TIMES! It became evident in the first series that the Pats had the ball that his much hyped ankle indeed was causing him some trouble. Steve Spagnuolo showed the rest of the NFL that he's ready to be a head coach with that absolutely flawless game plan. The Giants D was agressive from the start, and Spagnuolo was pulling blitz strings at the perfect times.

How are those Manning boys doing lately? Man...my brother Ry and I have a little work to do to stand up to Peyton and Eli. Back to back Super Bowl wins for the Manning family. I don't think that will ever happen again, and in fact, I think it's more likely we'll see somebody go 19-0 before we see another pair of brothers win Super Bowl MVP in succesive years.

That had to be one hell of a good time last night for those two and the whole Manning family. I can just see Eli and Peyton breaking down coverages over a few laughs and a few cold ones...just like I am sure Ry and I would do. Good for those guys.

JESUS!

"AND HE COULD. GO. COMPLETELY. INSANE!"

This is awesome:

How The Big Show Is Going To Go...

Alright...I'm finally ready to come out of hiding and write something after the Santana mess that went down on Tuesday. Let's quickly discuss Johan and then we'll get to the SB. When the guy that knows more about Major League Baseball than anybody else in the universe, Peter Gammons, describes the packages of prospects as "Eh...", you aren't exactly giddy with excitement. I guess I don't understand the rush to trade him at this point. Wouldn't hanging on to the best pitcher in baseball into spring training and potentially the season just up his trade value as teams that realize they need pitching become increasingly desperate? You don't think the Yankees would've freaked out when they realized they have a pitching staff that has the makings of a .500 season? Now give, the Twins always seem to come out smelling like roses in these deals down the road, so I'll be patient with the guys we received, but that wasn't the Bill Smith regime pulling the strings. Anyways...I have a feeling that Joe Nathan is next as we march towards becoming the youngest team in baseball and gearing up towards the opening of the new ballpark in 2010.

Has anybody heard anything about a football game going on this weekend? Eli Brady and Archie Manning are the quarterbacks, so I'm stoked. The two weeks between the conference championship games is just really overkill for the media. EVERY single angle on every story has been covered, quoted, rehashed, and then discussed endlessly on sports radio. It's a bit much. That being said, I'm actually coming around on my level of excitement for this game. I reserved six barstools at The Loop for the fellas and I, and I'm looking forward to the Miller Lites and the wagers to start flowing. Last year, a buddy Steve and I cashed in $20 bills for $1's like we were heading to the strip club and sat belly up at the bar betting $1 on absolutely EVERYTHING. I really couldn't get enough of it. We were calling out the over/under on where the kickoff return would be while the ball was in the air. We were betting on whether or not they would show Lovie Smith in the next 20 seconds, complete with countdown. So many bets were taking place, and so many bills changing hands in rapid fashion, that I felt like I was a bookie at one of those illegal underground cock fights. Great times.

This is going to be a better game than people give it credit for. The most overrated aspect of this matchup is the fact that New England is 18-0. Now, is that impressive as hell? You bet. Does it really factor into this matchup? Absolutely not. I'm looking at the last 6 weeks of the season right now. That's it. If you don't think that New England was up for that week 17 game against the Giants, with a chance to make history and finish the regular season 16-0, than I can't take you seriously. That was as close to a Super Bowl atmosphere you will ever find in the regular season...including that week 8 Colts/Pats matchup. The game was televised on THREE networks. Eli played the game of his life, the Giants were up to the task, and it was an instant classic. I think that game is a more accurate showing of how these two teams matchup than the 12 point spread that Vegas threw up on the board last week. The Patriots haven't covered a spread since their week 14 victory against Pittsburgh. In fact in weeks 12 & 13, you will remember the two absolute nail-biters the Pats had against Philly and then Baltimore. This isn't the Patriots squad that was putting 50+ points on the board...teams have adjusted. If you double up Randy Moss and force Brady to dink and dunk you to death with Welker, you can keep the score in the 30's and hope for a few breaks. I think the Giants will be able to run the ball against the New England front seven...especially given the fact that most of the Patriot linebackers were all playing college football before you had heard of the Smashing Pumpkins. On the flip side of the ball, I think you'll see a lot more Laurence Maroney than you expect. Bill Belichick knows that the one way he can lose this game is to allow the Giants talented defensive line to create problems for Brady. I think Osi, Tuck, and Strahan are licking their chops at the prospects of number 12 dropping back in the pocket 45 times. Belichick is going to neutralize this by running Maroney, who has had his legs preserved essentially all season.


A huge question mark in this game is which Eli Manning is going to show up? I've been hugely impressed with his progress over the last half of the season, and especially the playoffs, but unlike so many others have done this week, I am not ready to say that he's arrived as an elite quarterback. He can change that with a strong performance on the game's biggest stage this week against what many are calling the best team of all time. Peyton showed me last year that the Manning's aren't made up of chokers, as many would've have previously led you to believe. They can hold their own in the moxie department. Just ask the 2006 Patriots and Bears how Peyton's "choking" worked out for them. Well I think Eli can step up as well on Sunday. He has the running game, the offensive weapons, a solid O-Line, and that chip on his shoulder (that Tiki kindly placed for him) that says "F You, we can win this game, and I'm the guy to lead us."



Look out for a classic:

New England Patriots 31, New York Giants 30

Dragging On...

The Johan Santana talks "heat" up for the 79th time today. ESPN.com is headlining this story, which isn't really anything new at all. The Yankees said this, and the Red Sox won't offer Lester and Ellsbury, but look out for the Mets, yada, yada, yada. I've heard the same garbage since early December...why doesn't somebody take the cojones out of Mama's purse and grab the best pitcher in baseball? My second thought is that the Twins 4 year $80M extension offer isn't really looking all that shabby now, seeing as how none of the Evil Empires have leaked any information about being willing to offer Santana the $150M over six years that he is supposedly seeking. If I'm Bill Smith, I'm expanding the splash I caused last Friday with the Morneau and Cuddyer signing by offering Santana what he is worth: A five year extension for $110M. Smith could instantly erase all of the negativity that has clouded this Twins off-season with the departure of Hunter and the Santana trade talk. Suddenly things would all seem right in Twinsland once again, with the pitcher, the slugger, and the ballpark all locked and loaded for a 2010 World Series run. Just a bit of advice...

An MVP Sized Deal...

I have targeted keeping Justin Morneau in a Twins uniform the number one priority for the franchise, Santana included, as the Twins have been able to develop a left-handed first basement that can hit 40 home runs....never. In a surprise move, the twins have agreed with me, locking in Morneau to a long term deal this afternoon.

Fight Club...

It's currently 2 degrees in Minneapolis, and has been hovering around zero for the past 10 days. I am beginning to worry a little, because I wore a light track jacket to work today. Am I so well adapted that I can now just roll around in gear that is meant for 60 degree weather? Is that a good thing? Regardless, when the weather gets like this in January and there isn't any football to look forward to this weekend, I have to get out of the house and do something before I start developing multiple personalities and freaking out my roommate. Thus Twinsfest 2008 is the destination tonight. Current and former players will be there signing autographs/staring down women. There is a model of the new stadium that is just going to piss me off upon viewing and realizing that I have to sit in the dome for two more years. Twinsfest also boasts a baseball card and memorabilia show, which should produce a great collection of Mom's basement dwellers slugging around in sweatpants buying pieces of cardboard meant for 11 year old boys...and I'll probably sneak a peek. The Dazzle Man, Dan Gladden is going to be in attendance..which brings me to a solid story.

One of my former colleagues, who we will call Pat Landy, once got into a little altercation with Gladden at a Twins pre-game BBQ rally. Apparently our perpetrator was pretty intent on talking to a little hottie that we would later find out was Dan Gladden's 16 year old daughter. If I'm Dan Gladden, Pat Landy is about the LAST guy I want hitting on my teenage daughter. Mostly because his attitude towards the younger generation consists of this basic principle:

From what I hear, Dazzle and Landy exchanged some words, some louder words, and then a choking match ensued. Apparently a Vice President of the Twins at the time started getting excited, jumping up and down and pointing like a teenage girl at TRL. He's shouting "I know WHO you are and WHERE you work! You're fired dude!" Let's just say that Pat Landy is now banned from any future Twins games, Twins Events, and I'm not sure he doesn't have a restraining order disallowing him from going within 100 yards of any High School in the state of Minnesota. What a guy.

Let's quickly discuss who we would and wouldn't want to fight on the 1987 or 1991 Minnesota Twins.

The Glass Joe All Stars
1. Greg Gagne- Checks in at 5'11" 172 and that may be pushing it. He's far and away the obvious candidate.
2. Bert Blyleven- Just for the fact that he was like 49 when he was on the 1987 team. 49 year-old dudes can't hang.
3. Steve Lombardozzi- He played second base, never showed any emotion, weighed 174 lbs, and just looked like one of those guys that you could whoop up on. Similar to Luis Rodriguez now...which reminds me that I am mad that Luis Rodriguez is on our Major League roster.

The Pretty Boy Floyd's
1. Kent Hrbek- You don't fight a large Minnesota bred guy that can toss around Ron Gant like he's one of the girls on Dancing With The Stars. Hrbek is a good 6'2" 250, and I want no part of him.
2. Gary Gaetti(pre born again days)- Gaetti had a reputation for being the biggest partyer/psycho on the team. What would Jesus do?
3. Dan Gladden- The Dazzle man looked like one of those little guys that you would see in a townie bar and not think much of. Until he's drunkenly hitting on your girlfriend, causing you to give him some crap and then he rips his shirt off and starts cracking randoms with pool cues like he's Patrick Swayze in Roadhouse. Nice work Landy.

Big Al Owns the Suns...

Big players make big plays in big games. Well...that sentence isn't really at all relevant, as no one can classify any game prominently featuring your Minnesota Timberwolves as "big". That being said, the Wolves has inexplicably taken two of three from the Western Conference leading Phoenix Suns. Al Jefferson went off last night. The home win against Phoenix coupled with this promising news may...MAY strike fear throughout the NBA, or at least Seattle and Miami.

The Frozen Fun-dra...

On Friday, January 18th, 2008 Sacia, Amanda, and I departed on our Wisconsin voyage to the NFC Championship Game. The drive over was complete with a hell of a lot of air guitar, drum solos, piano jamming, and a unfortunately some Lionel Richie. The Captain of the ship is also the DJ, so I was at Sacia's mercy while he flipped through his CD collection that featured many of my mom's favorites such as Bruce Hornsby, Fleetwood Mac, Lionel Richie, Frank Sinatra, and on and on. I've finally been able to introduce Sacia to some music made in the last few years...a little more progressive such as Kings of Leon and the new Silverchair album. Some day when we have a little more time I will attempt to introduce him to the Strokes, Radiohead, Silversun Pickups, Arctic Monkeys, and other music that isn't 35 years old. But that's how he rolls and I love the dude.
Our first stop was in Stanley, Wisconsin, which was a town of 2,000 right off US 29 in North Central Wisconsin. We hit up a typical small town Wisconsin Bar: Cheap beer, jukebox (with hand-written song lists), great food, and LOTS of locals staring you down. I ordered a round of Miller Lite's and the bartender asked me for $4.25. I thought she meant for each beer, but it was actually $4.25 for the round. Amazing. I instantly felt like I had gotten a raise. We had a few rounds, threw down some food, and continued on our journey. There isn't a hell of a lot between Eau Claire and Green Bay. It was basically a lot of towns that caused us to ponder what we would do with our lives if we had resided there. Some of the conclusions:
-Drinking Heavily
-Meth
-Make Meth
-Sell Meth
-Hunt Drunk
-Eat Cheese Curds
-Track down a hot cousin

Small town USA! In all seriousness the people you meet in Wisconsin are really the nicest people you will ever meet in your entire life. When we finally arrived in GB and hit up a bar named Sidekicks, Amanda got invited to a Bon Jovi concert in St. Paul by couple in their 40's within 5 minutes of talking to them. Additionally, within 5 minutes of talking to them Sacia and I had put down three Jag Bombs, attempting to sneak them in before the fourth member of our group arrived, Marcia...Sacia's girlfriend.

Seriously...Lionel Richie?!

We got good and "Wisconsin'ed" on Friday Night and most of the day on Saturday. As we went from bar to bar it was a riot meeting people and explaining to them that I was a Vikings fan from Minneapolis, and THEN explaining to them why I was going to the game. As a Vikings fan, I am really envious of the passion for the Packers that the state of Wisconsin holds. Every single person I talked to; man, woman, or child discussed the Packer game within the first 30 seconds of our conversation. This state absolutely lives and dies with their team. The only comparison I could really come up with would be the Nebraska fans with the Cornhuskers. These states literally shut down (well the bars stay open) when their teams are playing. Sacia had a group of 65 year-old diners at the table next to us SCREAMING "GO, PACK, GO!" during a busy dinner service, and everybody in the restaurant smiled and laughed. These Packer fans got such a kick out of us, and vice verse that they invited us to the next bar they were going to for a few rounds. Unfortunately, we had to head in a different direction to get home, but the gesture was appreciated.
Sunday Morning came...and the first thing on my mind was gambling. I introduced Sacia to the wonders of online sportsbooks and he looked like a 9 year-old opening up a Nintendo Wii on Christmas Morning. I took the Pats -13.5 and the Giants + 7.5. Had a gut feeling the G-men would keep this game close. Ended up splitting these bets...and I can always live with that. I'm just going to throw all of the money at the Giants in the Super Bowl anyways. I will ride the Eli "how the hell is he doing this" train until the last stop. Anyways, back to the task at hand here: Tailgating at Lambeau. We had the privilege of going to a VIP tailgate party at Brett Favre's Steakhouse, complete with free brats, burgers and of course Miller Lites.

This gave the four of us a chance to get good and warmed up before the game. I read a lot of studies in Men's Health about what city is the healthiest, or what City is the best for singles, and I would like to introduce a new study: What city can drink more beers before noon on a Sunday? The chances of ANY other city in American topping Green Bay are similar to the chances of any other woman in American topping Britney in a "Who is the biggest train wreck mom in America?" contest. It ain't happening. It is nothing for these Packer fans to have a 12 pack and 3 brats in them before they even head into the stadium. For legal reasons, I will not be divulging any information on my intake.
We sat in section 111 row 26 and watched a hell of a football game. Amanda and I were surprisingly comfortable, although our beers turned to slushies within 10 minutes of purchase.

The Giants were the better football team on Sunday Night. Eli Manning has been the story of these 2007 Playoffs. For a guy that the entire city of New York was trying to run out of town just 3 months ago, he has played as well as anybody of late, and he's now just one win away from a Super Bowl victory at age 27. The turning point in this kid's season came when he stood up to the remarks made by Tiki Barber, telling him to more or less shut it. Once Eli was able to show his teammates that he was the leader of this team, and he wasn't going to take any more crap from people they really rallied around him and believed he was "their guy".

I felt bad for the Packers fans after the game, and here is something that I thought was really cool: Giants fans going up to Packer fans in the bar afterwards and telling them that they were sorry they had to win that game and take away Brett Favre's shot at the Super Bowl. I chatted with a few of these Giants guys and they said that the reason they felt bad about winning was that the GB fans had been so nice to everybody all weekend. There was no hostility, no trash talking...just fun and football. I wish more parts of the country could boast a reputation like that.

One hell of a weekend...go pack, go.

How It's Going To Go...

NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

Cold weather doesn't affect games as much as people tend to believe they do. Wind affects games, snow affects games, and rain affects games. The Giants can play in the cold. They have been rolling on the ground behind 270 lb Brandon Jacobs bringing the thunder and rookie Ahmad Bradshaw the lightning. You have got to love the way the G-Men have been playing football of late, especially on the road. That being said...I can't take them. Not against Brett Favre in Lambeau Field when it's supposed to be eighty-seven below zero. Against a banged-up Giants secondary, I see the Packers getting Greg Jennings and company going early, and Ryan Grant going late. The Packer D will play up for this game, and shades of the old Eli will appear before the night is over.

PACKERS 24, GIANTS 14


AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME



It's not happening...not this week anyways. The quest for perfection will continue on towards Arizona for Bill Bellichick's 17-0 squad. I know that San Diego defensive front seven does create some matchup problems for the Pats, but the New England coaching staff will have a trick up their sleeve to counter punch Shawn Merriman, likely a max protect scheme, and Tom Brady will find his way through the pressure. He always does. That's why he dates Giselle and rocks three Super Bowl rings. If you think Randy Moss ISN'T going to have a huge game amidst all of the likely bullshit allegations thrown in his lap this week, you're out of whack. That is exactly the type of negative publicity that Bellichick uses to keep his 17-0 football team thinking in a "us against the world" mindset. Brady throws for 350, Moss catches 2 TD's, and the Pats move to 18-0, setting up the most watched Super Bowl in history: Brett Favre at age 38 trying to stop the Patriots from going 19-0. That's good stuff right there...

PATS 38, SAN DIEGO 17